Passing the Torch

Another summer has come to a close, and I'm gleefully awaiting the arrival of Kate. She's moving to a town not too far away from myself (only 2 hours! Weeee!), and will arrive in a week. This is a tremendous change for the both of us, since for the past six years the only way we could visit was by plane. The reason for this move is Kate has decided to move south to finish her college career, just as I have completed mine (sort of). I figure with all the work she put into keeping the site going while I was busting my butt in college, I ought to do what I can while she is indisposed.

Kate was right in her last blog post, a lot has happened. Since graduating I've been going non-stop, to New Orleans, Texas, Ireland, and soon I'll be visiting New Mexico and Arizona. As soon as all this is over, I really must get a job, I don't have a single cheap hobby...

Anyhow, I promise to have Ireland pictures and stories up soon (there were a few stories about relationships I heard along the way that I definitely want to share), but please bear with us: between Katy's move and my trips (not to mention my CASA case coming to a close soon), we're having a little trouble keeping everything balanced.

Breaking the Silence!

From Blissfully Single Kate's Log:

Well, it’s been a long while since I last posted, much has happened for both Ange and I.

My family and I packed up the car on the 7th of May and headed out to beautiful Hattiesburg, Mississippi to visit the school I intend to transfer to in the fall to finally get that degree. It was my first time in MS that I can remember. I’ve traveled across the states many times, but I don’t remember if since I was born my family ever passed through there. Hattiesburg is a great college town and while it has a lot of the major chain stores and a brand new mall, it also is not without its very cute southern charm.

A mistake I made was failing to take pictures while in Hattiesburg, but thankfully when I got to Hammond, Louisiana to visit with Ange and her family I remembered to use it profusely.

I enjoyed walking the campus of my new school and am looking forward to attending. It is a small campus and the professors I have met are all very nice, and seem like the sort to be attentive to your needs and to help you focus on getting through school. While I know I will be a rather old sophomore on the campus there, I am looking forward to my age being an advantage.

Upon arrival in Louisiana, much preperation was needed to get ready for Ange's graduation.
It was very exciting to attend Ange’s SLU graduation. I’ll leave it up to her to give the details on that, but needless to say I and her family were very proud and excited on that day.

While I was there visiting with her family, a few of us did a quick day trip down to New Orleans (which is always fun to do), and had beignet's at Café Du Monde. Then the day following as a graduation trip, we took off to New Braunfels, TX to spend a day at the Schlitterbahn water park, and then a day at San Antonio, TX.

It had been 19 years since I was last in San Antonio, and I fell in love with it all over again. I will describe in better length in blogs to come each individual trip along with pictures and a few things to remember when traveling to these individual locations.

If you can’t afford to travel abroad, always remember there is lots of amazing culture and things to see in whatever country you live in.

Travel advice

If you don't have a passport, go get one. Even if you don't have plans to go anywhere in the near future, just go get one. If you're sixteen or older when you apply, it's good for ten years, and the fee for getting it is only $75.

Otherwise, you may run the risk shelling out $208 to expedite your passport processing because you didn't have your passport handy.

It hurt, it really hurt. I just keep telling myself I'll get ten years out of it. Broken down, it comes to about $1.73 per month, which is reasonable (right?). Sigh...

*crickets*

So, I guess I should post something, since Kate has been doing her level best to keep this place moving without me.

Isn't she cheerful? She posts about all the wonderful things you can do if you're single, the bright sides, and all that good stuff. Me? Not so much. See, I spend most of my time either talking to people at work, or eavesdropping on conversations going around me, and most of the time all I can think is How on earth do y'all stand to be around each other?

In the three years I've been in college, I've met one guy I had anything even remotely in common with, which is part of the reason I don't date*. I often wonder about people who date because they think they're supposed to. Meaning, people who are dating even though they know a relationship isn't going to be formed by any of these dates. Are they actually enjoying it? If yes, why? If no, why do they keep doing it?

Sorry, as you can see from this and my previous posts, dating culture fascinates and baffles me. I would love to have an opportunity to have a handful of habitual daters chronicle their lives for me: one month of business-as-usual, followed by one month of no dating. Just to see how they would react to the lifestyle change.

I think I may have had a point to all this, but it's the last day before spring break, and my train of thought derailed. Opinions? Thoughts? Explanations of what good dating has ever done for anyone?

*the other part is that I genuinely enjoy being single. As Kate points out, you can do a lot when you're not entangled in romantic relationships.

Happy GaPeR Day!

From Blissfully Single Kate's Log:
My brother and I a year ago celebrating Gaper day as ninjas!

Gaper Day!

While for everyone else it’s April fool’s day, for us mountain people it’s Gaper Day!

Featuring another blogger with a great explanation of the day and some videos:
http://www.angrysnowboarder.com/2009/03/gaper-day-fun.html

Unfortunatly this year my brother and I couldn't make it out to the slopes today since I became a victim of an evil dentist and am waiting to get it corrected.

Wish your fellow man a Happy Gaper day today!

Kate

Don't be a target, build that confidence!

From Blissfully Single Kate's log:

As a Single, there will be more individuals out there targeting you as someone to take advantage of. It’s a horrid fact but unfortunately true.

Someone on their own running their own business or just out living life are more likely targets for asset strippers, people tricking you into co-signing your property over to them, rapists, robbers, insecure abusive singles, to a million other things.

How to avoid this is up to you, for one, overcoming your own insecurities with your own singleness and with who you are. Becoming a confident individual makes you ten times less of a target, becoming more alert of your surroundings, securing yourself financially and getting out of debt as quickly as possible, and even just improving your nutritional health.

I write this blog with Ange for the purpose of preventing the things that have happened to me and others we know from happening to you.

The first and foremost thing to keep those from you, who desire to take advantage of you, is to boost your confidence. As my Karate instructor reminds us often, it’s the first impression you leave with someone that affects your future with that individual. Always greet each and every person you meet in a firm handshake and with an air of confidence (not arrogance) that shows them you are sure of yourself and know how to take care of yourself and that no one is going to take advantage of you. It’s amazing the message you send people when you greet them with a generous grip and confident smile as opposed to a weak handshake and timid eyes. It is so important that you find that inner happiness in your singleness and not let it bring you down, because from the way you walk to the way you greet others determines for others whether you are a good target for their evil intentions or not.

Improving ones nutrition and some self defense classes may be all that is needed to gain such confidence, but it may take more than just those two things to help you pick yourself up.
Maybe you need to attack your debt, or it’s possible you are still struggling with the emotions of having bad relationships and people who have been taking advantage of you already.

Now is the time to become confident and to stop taking the abuse. Now is the time to find the happiness in who you are and take your passions and make them your priority. Boost yourself with a shot of confidence and take a break from the dating world. Take some personal time out and stop worrying about whether you will get married or not. Leave the worrying up to tomorrow and take on today with a new outlook on life. Stop letting people think you’re insecure and unhappy with who you are and what you have in life. Stop making yourself a target for others.

The world paints singles as insecure enough already, we don’t need to add to the hype by actually being insecure.

Singleness does not equal loneliness!

Note: New Side bars to right of column, for nutritional advice and getting out of debt from Kate.

Pop culture and Singles!

From Blissfully Single Kate's log:

Singleness is only “hard” if you think it is and allow the world to tell you how you should think.

Few films and shows out there actually condone being totally single and not putting yourself on the meat market as so many shows out there encourage.

I am always on the search for a message from any film nowadays that does not condone single men and women dating perpetually and giving their heart out over and over again till pretty much they believe that is all life is about, and that no one person can be happy for a minute without having to be with someone in some capacity or other.

Uptown Girls is a movie that few may realize has probably one of the strongest messages in teaching single girls and guys to stand on their own two feet and stop depending on a relationship to supply them with all the things they think they need emotionally in life. I recommend it for those still struggling to let go of depending on having some kind of relationship to make them feel significant or emotionally satisfied.

There are singles of all ages, but the brainwashing of society starts young. While I like to target all ages, I realize that to catch the attention of the younger ages, I must intentionally speak to them in particular.

While young single girls and guys may think “oh I have it all going for me and I don’t have to learn about being happy single, because I won’t be single for much longer” are certainly walking a dangerous path of thoughts.

There are those of us, who need to get out of the down trodden thoughts society has injected into us since the beginning of our dating years. We have a greater challenge to overcome such thoughts because of the extent of the exposure we have suffered from such a mind set of pop culture in comparison to those who are just now stepping off into such a civilization for the first time.

Being single is not bad, it’s not evil, it’s not wrong, and it by no means says anything about us. Let us determine what speaks for us, not some status that the world has labeled as “OLD MAID”, “Lonely single”, or any other negative connotation that would imply there is something wrong with us.

Rarely do people see a “single” as someone other than someone with a need to be dating or married. What about our character, our talents, our amazing minds? They just go by the way side; because they become attributes and reasons for someone to date us for, rather than attributes that can achieve great things. Let us do great things, and marry that special person when love comes our way or not. The more time you spend in actually achieving great and wonderful things, the less time you have to worry about if you will meet the love of your life or not. How many times have you heard a friend tell someone they should be dating someone based on all the attributes they both have and how they would fit based on that?

While it’s not wrong to find someone with a great mind to date or marry, it just should not be pursued like a hunt for the perfect costume come Halloween.

If finding a love partner for the rest of your life is your only goal in life and if you feel that you are nothing without that, than you have sold yourself short, and will continue down a path of negative thoughts about yourself and those around you. I want you to be happy as an individual and for you to find the success that embracing a single life has to offer before dating again or getting married.

Challenge yourself to find new goals new passions or maybe emphasize the ones you have already over the goal of finding someone to be in a relationship with. Even if the goal is just finding yourself!

If you don’t have friends to surround you, then go out there and find some, if you don’t have family to surround you then find friends willing to be like family.
Singleness does not equal loneliness!